@themorris23: I wish I was as committed to anything the way infomercial actors are committed to over dramatizing their reaction to household chores.
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@markleggett: You can eat up to three spiders every night in your sleep, except on "cheat days" when you can eat as many as you like.
@trevso_electric: Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?