@RayInCincinnati: I wish I was as good at anything as Pitbull is at rhyming a word with itself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Piecezilla: The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news.
@BoozeWallet: MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming
@ValeeGrrl: What I say: Get dressed Brush teeth Get in the car What my kids hear: Have a snack Shriek like monkeys Open 3 umbrellas indoors Go poop
@theshantilly: Me: How awful do I look? Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on? Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.