@RayInCincinnati: I wish I was as good at anything as Pitbull is at rhyming a word with itself.
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@iliezabeth: DRAGON: get AWAY from me ME: let me pet ur scales pls DRAGON: I don't even KNOW u ME: breathe fire on me DRAGON: *is creeped out*
@adamallday: I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.
@StatusInBeirut: If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows.
@TheWoodenslurpy: If I commit suicide, it’ll be for a shallow reason, like unrequited texts. But the note I leave will mention world hunger at least 11 times.