@markydoodoo: I wish I was born in a year ending in zero so it'd be easier to remember how old I am. Thanks for following.
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@DryDickRando: Hello sir. Your toddler called me a 'stinky poopyhead' at the store. I've spent 6 days formulating a comeback, and I'd like to own him now.
@trojansauce: ME: hey baby HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: *looks closer* HOT GRILL: ME: oh
@captaincoximus: When asked my theory on Amelia Earhart's disappearance I said "maybe she went black" and now I don't have to help with homework