@DomBorrett: I wish I'd worked to learn another language. Only so I'd be more believable when I use language barriers as an excuse to not talk to people
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@mattingebretson: I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it
@moooooog35: The average parent spends roughly 2.7 years of their life picking up crayons from under restaurant tables.
@heatherlou_: I'm not flirting with you. I'm just nice. Get over yourself. Except you. You get under me.
@TheToddWilliams: [interrogation] COP: So you play the tuba do ya? "No, the violin" COP: Treble maker eh?