@neonorchid1: I wish "it's the thought that counts" worked for housework.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MichaelTrying: "I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service." "Dude this isn't email I'm standing in front of you."
@robfee: Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.
@ItsAndyRyan: Child twister: "I can't tear up that farmhouse, Dad" Dad twister: "Come on son – we're Kansas tornadoes, not Kan'tsas tornadoesn'ts"