@neonorchid1: I wish "it's the thought that counts" worked for housework.
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@copymama: My 8yo just reasoned that I should clean up the mess from her craft project because I was the one who suggested she do the craft project. Laziness level: expert.
@Merman_Melville: (Someone finally shuts off a car alarm) Philip Glass: (sticks head out of apartment window above) HEY I WAS LISTENING TO THAT
@therichards5: [looks at text from 2 days ago] Me: Sorry about your car, do you still need a ride home?