@nattylumpo88: I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an "attorney" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career.
@junejuly12: Maybe the caveman who discovered fire was wearing corduroys and running late for a meeting.
@MavenofHonor: So many friends have kids now it's tough to meet for coffee, let alone carry out the greatest casino heist the world has ever known
@1Happytwit: I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work.