@nattylumpo88: I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an "attorney" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse.
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@Donna_McCoy: Why have an affair when you can so easily ruin your marriage by remodeling the kitchen?
@moneebthinks: Me in the future: Son, you’re going to go far. Son, fiddling with the catapult straps: I question your judgment daily.
@samalmightysam: The Great Wall of China is one of the 7 wonders of the world just because it's a Chinese product that's lasted more than a month.
@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.