@Adar79Angie: I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.
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@ScarletStoner: I look suspicious doing anything. You could walk in on me heating up a hot pocket and my face could look like I just murdered my family.
@ManvAlcohol: What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
@ericsshadow: My 9 year old ran away for an hour and by the time he came back my wife had already turned his bedroom into a yoga studio.