@Adar79Angie: I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.
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@LuckoftheDraw86: Vodka giveth and vodka taketh away... It giveth me a hangover and taketh away my underpants. Amen.
@Ooft_Headshot: Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
@ericsshadow: Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
@CubanaMama82: I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work.