@T_Bonezzz_: I wish my ex girlfriend was a Ninja, this way I'd never see her
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@shutupmikeginn: Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man
@Darchstar078: My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat.
@gagging: Michael Jackson breaks into WALMART. He only steals lotion. Turning to the security camera he whispers "smooth criminal" and moonwalks away
@trojansauce: ALFRED: *wringing out wet birthday party invitation* it's difficult to read, but i'd hazard a guess at aquaman, master wayne