@T_Bonezzz_: I wish my ex girlfriend was a Ninja, this way I'd never see her
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@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*
@mikefossey: (I get an amber alert for a missing child) OK its my time to shine (I get in my car and back out without looking and instantly hit the kid)
@novicefather: QA Manager: And what is the protocol when an aircraft comes inbound with a suspected Ebola case? "WTF. Planes can catch this shit too?"
@Heather2Go: I'm so bad with directions that every time I try to go to Pound Town I end up in the Friend Zone.