@Nickadoo: I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss.
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@Storminika: My mom keeps asking questions like 'When you gonna be famous?' I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'
@ArfMeasures: [1st day at work] BOSS: Erm..we..have No Smoking rules here ME: That's great Alan [blows out smoke] most places have loads of smoking rules
@TrueQuixote: I'm not a cyber-bully but I did change my WiFi network name to "I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING STEVE". Sleep well neighbor. Sleep well.