@Nickadoo: I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss.
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@samfromks: Heads up guys, if you ask your wife how to spell ménage à trois she's gonna want to know why.
@thepunningman: "Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?" Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"
@gabemakesmusic: I once saw a road sign that said, "Slow Down, Small Children at Play" but then it occurred to me that I'm not afraid of small children
@ArfMeasures: "Remember u don't choose your spirit animal. It choose u" ME: Ok great *all the animals immediately look away & avoid eye contact with me*