@NJPsychDoc: I wish my name was Grudge. This way my wife would hold on to me forever.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@josh___grant: Don't people with bumper stickers realize it takes a t-shirt to change a person's deeply held beliefs?
@ExcuseMyTweets: The door is closed? I want in. The door is open? I want out. Actually I just want to sit in the door frame itself. - Pets
@VeganZebra: [Noah from the Bible is doing laundry and his washer just starts spewing water] DEBORAH GET THE BOAT
@HatfieldAnne: I shake you awake. “An octopus can create human-like, virtual elbows when feeding. Go back to sleep. I’ll tell you the rest in the morning.”