@NJPsychDoc: I wish my name was Grudge. This way my wife would hold on to me forever.
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@TheAlexNevil: *me, at high school prom Me: So, you wanna dance? Her: Definitely! M: Can you tell me why?
@neerjagurnani: The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you're unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds.
@eedrk: adrenaline does crazy shit to the human body. i saw a lady trapped under a car and suddenly felt a surge of energy so i went to the gym
@ddsmidt: People with house arrest ankle bracelets get so touchy when you compare them to a dog's invisible fence.