@shariv67: I wish my refrigerator would quit opening my bedroom door, staring at me, sighing and walking away.
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@BlairLoudly: [end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED.
@UncleDuke1969: "Make him press 1 again." "Good." "Now, 3 minutes of silence." "He still there?" "Give him 18 minutes of pan flute." - Call Center Training
@bornmiserable: I want to be a Walmart greeter just so I can tell customers who come in "everyone enters, but not everyone leaves"
@Book_Krazy: ME: [whispering]"Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: "um no. I have on pajamas"