@nachosarah: I wish parents would watch their kids better because my basement is filling up
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@VodkaShorebird: "You know what people really want to see? Season after season of a guy drinking his own piss." - Discovery Channel executive
@Bob_Janke: It's true I hear voices in my head but they speak Russian so I have absolutely no idea what they're saying
@KeetPotato: reporter: tell us what happened me: some BEEEPing motherBEEEPer crashed into my car reporter: you dont have to say beep we put them in after
@liv_thatsme: "Thinking of getting a tattoo" Me: K "Thinking of getting some wallpaper" Me: NO! YOU'LL REGRET IT EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!