@juliussharpe: I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they're going to be talking.
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@ChickenColeman: Atheists swear they not going to hell just cuz they don't believe in it. nigga I don't believe in having a job but I still go to work
@slimmy_shady: Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop lap-dancing. I asked him why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."