@Jake_Vig: I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: That does it! [bangs on upstairs neighbor's door] [Elephant on a pogo stick answers] Sup? Am I being too loud?
@somecleverthing: Turtleneck pro: if you wear one while you're eating you can't get crumbs in your bra. Turtleneck con: see above.
@Michael1979: If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for:
@InternetHippo: elephant: i’m thirsty, how do i drink mother nature: inhale water & squirt it from ur nose directly into ur mouth elephant: what the hell