@GianDoh: I wish radical Islamists were just Muslims who were really into surfing.
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@topaz_kell: "I can hear my annoying neighbor crying to Adele's new song as she throws away her empty, clinking beer bottles." - my neighbor
@envydatropic: Nothing good can come from a gay man greeting you with an up and down look followed by an "Oh, honey"
@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib