@GianDoh: I wish radical Islamists were just Muslims who were really into surfing.
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@Kyle_Lippert: A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond "Could this night get any worse?" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth
@POTerritory: Editor: You wrote a play about Victorian England using menstrual blood as ink? Me: Yes, it's a period piece.
@weinerdog4life: The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that's just science