@gingerfaced: I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning.
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@ch000ch: it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head.
@fillthevacuum: Someone gave me a star as a gift. I'm planning on sprucing it up with some planets and asteroids and using it as a summer vacation spot.
@bobvulfov: MUGGER: give me ur wallet ME: stand back i have mace MUGGER: [sniffing] is this cookies-scented febreze