@ibid78: I wish softcore horror was a genre. Like, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU IT'S A KITTEN! OH THANK GOD IT'S JUST A FEATHER."
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@DancesWithTamis: "Hola! I'm Señor Coconut, children" [cracks head on the pavement. Children scream] "Drink me. Drink me. I'm full of vitamins and minerals"
@dafloydsta: [marriage counseling] She's always getting mad at me "There's a shark living in our pool" IT WAS SHARK WEEK AND HE WAS ON SALE, KAREN
@Phreemann: [security patting down mouse] "Any cheese on your person, sir?" [waves another mouse over them like a metal detector wand] "He's clean."
@Sarcasticsapien: It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane.