@Brianhopecomedy: I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
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@rad_milk: as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water
@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is relaxing by his pool. he's got so much sunscreen on that he slowly slides off his lounger, out of the gate & down the road
@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
@pleatedjeans: [blind date] So,where you from? [eyes turn black] T h E S E v E n T H C i R C L e O F H e L L Oh nice. ever miss it? [cries blood] Y e s