@UNTRESOR: I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sock_holliday: The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history
@AaronFullerton: To gangs that carve their names into public toilet seats: A) Why? B) Haha, you touched a public toilet seat.
@amydillon: Roasted broccoli for dinner tonight, and the rave reviews are in. "What is this? It tastes like hair," said one ungrateful child.