@rickolantern: I wish there was something called the pizza/enchilada/beer diet where you lost weight. Cause I'm on it and that's not what's happening.
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@kellysdf: Life was dangerous when I was young. We answered the phone never knowing who was on the other end.
@jonnysun: [taking atendance] teacher: jimmy jimmy: here teacher: susie susie: here teacher: (sighs) omnipresemt sentinel omnipresent sentinel: ａｌｗａｙｓ
@EJGomez: trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater
@ElgatoEsmio: My new dentist called me back in to make another mold of my teeth. Needless to say he made a terrible 1st impression.