@TuffyNyC: I wish they had an app that allows you to delete your number from other ppl's phones.
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@SuSuSuDonym: Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
@lazerdoov: My girlfriend told me she's "spotting" and I'm like yeah right for who? You can't even bench 50 Lbs lol
@GrantTanaka: Felt a sharp pain in my chest & thought "oh shit, I'm having a heart attack," but it just turned out to be my wife stabbing me.