@mattgallo123: I wish they'd just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell "alright!".
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@hotdogsladies: I say: "No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all." They hear: "I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."
@patnelke: Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now.
@JillBidenVeep: Not pictured: Joe waiting outside the door in his karate uniform ready to spring into action.
@Robert_Beau: Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow