@dumbbeezie: I wish we could still defeat bullies with synchronized dancing like in the 80s
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@thatdutchperson: [Court] "Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Me: yes. *GF from the back* DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
@CastAwayKristen: Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn’t work. Help forum: Should’ve had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafé just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches.
@LeBearGirdle: Reporter: What went wrong in the Challenger launch? NASA: have you ever built a space ship? Reporter: well no bu- NASA: it's really hard