@dumbbeezie: I wish we could still defeat bullies with synchronized dancing like in the 80s
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@Ristolable: *gives joke answer to daughter's 75th consecutive question* [20 years later, she's in an office] "Everyone knows the moon was built in 1973"
@ariscott: I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.
@armyVet1972: Boss: Can you look this up? Me: (munching on donut) Internet's closed. Boss: Oh. Me: Yeah, I think they're vacuuming it or something.
@QwertyJones3: BOSS: This team isn't performing, hire someone with a good track record [2 wks later] ME: I'd like you to meet our new employee, Usain Bolt