@SocialExtortion: I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. Seriously, I'm taking a selfie and you're in the background
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@TheUrbanSlangs: Drunk - When you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
@cuckoo_cachu: At this point, I'm positive I've read the entire Bible via Facebook status updates. *crosses off bucket list*
@ingmarbirdman: i sold all my lizards to buy my girlfriend a Toyota Tundra but she sold her drivers license to buy me a awesome obstacle course for lizards