@bdbdleeroybrown: I wish you'd told me you were happy just flirting on twitter. I've already bought plane tickets and murdered my wife.
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@robfee: If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears.
@d_duhwit: First day as waiter Boss: Can you clear table 5? Me: Well I haven't done track and field since high school but. *runs at table..
@JohnFugelsang: Welcome to America, where the politicians we dislike 'flip-flop on issues' but the politicians we like 'evolve.'