@themiltron: [showing my pool to a friend] and this is my hole, it's where i keep too much water

@Squizbot: Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the 6 if you'll be the 9.

@oakhillbargrill: Instead of a tweet up, I think all the twitter crushes should get together for a weekend in the mountains You know... A Couples Retweet

@lazerdoov: Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog

@AndrewChamings: murderer: i forgot all my murder weapons me: i’ll wait