@InternetHippo: I woke up in the middle of the night to jot down this million dollar idea
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@girl_a_whirl: [invasion] *aircrafts dropping from the sky *explosions everywhere *mass hysteria Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?
@dave_cactus: ME: *robbing bank* More like, I'm BANKing on you not tripping the alarm! Haha! TELLER: Haha! COPS: *tackling me from behind* Haha!
@protolalia: "Sorry, that was my bad." "Your bad what?" "No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad." "You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?" "Yeah"