@InternetHippo: I woke up in the middle of the night to jot down this million dollar idea
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@brunopieroni: Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
@lemonmartinis: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together - Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll
@SondraDeeMe: My dream of making Playboy gone, so my best bet is National Geographic photographing me naked, carrying water on my head.
@TheRealRHB: Debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. I was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen