@RodneyH42: I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Scdavis24: Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
@_Aynne_: My favorite thing to say when a man offers me a drink is, "Of course I'll have another...I AM drinking for two, after all!"
@carlawh: When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background.
@NikkiGlaser: What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, "who emptied the dishwasher?!"