@RodneyH42: I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ojedge: [packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen
@robdelaney: Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids.
@stonedcoldlazy: Today marks 5 yrs of being smoke free!! Now I spend my time finding new places to hide the bodies of those who've pissed me off!
@iwearaonesie: the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions