@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
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@DaddysinCharge: Every time we take our dog to obedience school I can't help but think about everything that we did wrong when we were training our kids.
@bmarked21: From now on when people forcefully show me pictures of their baby, I'm simply going to reply, "Hmm... I've seen better."
@KyleMcDowell86: [Sees girl watching Star Wars] "Oh I love that movie, the way" *starts to sweat* "All those stars are at war with each other"