@Prof_Hinkley: I wonder how long the first person to deliver twins waited before they realized that was the last one
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@FattMernandez: Don't trust anyone who wants to "get you out of your comfort zone." Why would you ever want to leave something called a comfort zone?!
@RegularFred: Woman: [blushing] I was told there wasn't a single werewolf left in the world. Werewolf: there isn't. I'm married.
@thatcarlygirl: [cashier training, day 1] "Be sure to comment on everything a customer buys. They love that."
@Paige__xxx: Today, I’ve been cleaning. And by cleaning I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze.