@lovemydogduck: I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??
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@croninwhocares: "And this is Flegh, Fnnnr, Grmm, Jsssh and Jhee-Jo." (What My Brain Hears When Introduced to a Group of People)
@lasergirl70: Coworker to me: " Why are you always rushing out of here after work? You're single with no kids." Me: " Exactly."
@kelkulus: Sometimes at the gym I'll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I'll get my shorts on.
@somewhatalady: "Everyone says they're voting for Clinton or Trump, but I'm voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus."