@Home_Halfway: I wonder how many crimes The Muppets have kermitted.
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@truegritrumble: Apparently you can build quite a reputation if you go to all the Christian bookshops and ask if they carry Harry Potter.
@WineMummy: Cop: Tell me again why you pulled out scissors and gave her bangs. Me: She was flirting with a hot dad that I had my eye on.
@causticbob: I started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs. So far I've got 50,000 signatures.