@Home_Halfway: I wonder how many crimes The Muppets have kermitted.
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@AnkCoupleTO: *84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's "Jump"? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down
@XplodingUnicorn: My toddler took her toy phone and hit me in the head with it. It was still less painful than a real phone call.
@EndhooS: Me: there you go babe… [lays jacket over puddle so my girl doesn't get her feet wet] GF: you could have used your own coat
@ibid78: I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*