@SteveSuckington: I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.
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@freshestginger: *Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book! *Kids boo* *Someone in the crowd yells "NERD"*
@SaraThomas84: The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
@ilovepie84: Somebody should tell Forrest Gump that on the back of the box of chocolates it tells you exactly what you're going to get.