@TheReal_AndyMac: I wonder how many illegitimate socks are out there because of me?
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@ClickBaite: Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now
@BuckyIsotope: [I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What’s this? ME: That’s a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people
@MikeCanRant: if you hold a turtle shell up to your ear you can hear a turtle biting on your ear you dumb idiot