@jonnysun: i wonder how many time-travelers accidemtaly went back in time instead of forward but then saw a knight & thought "wow look at this robot!!"
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@SteveKoehler22: The pizza theorem: "Pizzas must be circular. They must be cut into triangles and put into square boxes" -Science
@NurseSeymour: Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he'll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
@TedInModeration: Dude on the street corner was like $5 for a sandwich? And he didn't even have a sandwich is why I have trust issues
@sad_tree: *I throw my hat into the ring* Oh you wanna fight do ya? *I throw my pants into the ring* Pal this is gettin' weird *I throw my skin into th