@mrtruthandsoul: I wonder how many times Batman had to rub one out in the Batmobile after fighting with Catwoman
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@squirrel74wkgn: If you accidentally drop a roll of toilet paper while sitting down, it will roll approximately 65 feet away from you. Science.
@gavinpivott: My step-dad's pretty cool. Not as cool as my fence-dad, though. Roof-dad is okay. What is a father?
@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?
@JermHimselfish: *holding a rattlesnake in each hand* These are the angriest maracas I've ever played