@bridger_w: I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@prontopup: What the hell is this REstraining Order?!? I never even got a Straining Order? I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.
@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]
@Sassafrantz: My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit.