@Shower4Thought: I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought "nah".
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@avxlanche: me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Better late than never! Wife: ... M: Seeing red? W: ... M: Go with the flow! W: ... M: I'll go buy tampons. W: NOW, MISTER FUNNY MAN.
@CornOnTheGoblin: A nationwide recall of the popular children's cereal Trix was issued today "Just dump them out in your garden" said one long-eared FDA agent