@Reverend_Scott: I wonder if anyone besides me has the bumper sticker, "Proud parent of your wife's kid."
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@bea_ker: [with father in law] "You know how to pluck a goose, son?" Er yes sir, sure do *stretches goose's neck and plays it like a double bass*
@chelliet22: I heard a noise downstairs, so naturally I came down to investigate in my towel, post-shower. Exactly. I'M the idiot in a slasher film.
@trentistweeting: [first date] ME: one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think the world revolves around them MY DATE, WHO IS THE SUN: i see