@trumpetcake: I wonder if anyone ever looked Jesus in the face and saw a piece of toast.
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@MommaUnfiltered: I have what CNN is calling 'snow fatigue' symptoms include: Being tired of winter A sudden desire for spring Thoughts of murderous rage
@tomipuff: I would like a warm hound please "Excuse me?" A flaming puppy "..." Fire canine "Do you want a hot dog, ma'am?" Yes. A scorching pooch
@StatusInBeirut: In the future: "So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them." "So what happened?" "Apparently god disagreed."
@Vodkantots: Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11.