@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza WIFE: so you’re not going to share ME: I am not going to share
@TwoSapphiresBlu: Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd.
@LousyBastard: I'm sorry I dropped your baby and doubly sorry I nudged it under the crib with my foot so you wouldn't notice.