@MissMcGill36: I wonder if clothes in China say "made around the corner"
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@MissNaughty1801: Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage Me: for the last 7 years
@AndyAsAdjective: Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.
@ShesARealGenius: [Me, watching my murderer wipe down everything as I'm dying]: "Oh, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it."