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@MissMcGill36: I wonder if clothes in China say "made around the corner"
@JulieSnark: "I shaved for this shit?" - All of us at one point in our lives.
@DannyZuker: Because they need to bring young people to the church, insiders say the front runner for Pope is Seth MacFarlane.
@JimmerThatisAll: I guess I didn't lobby hard enough to make extroduce the word of the year.
@Girl_Censored: I fully support any type of marriage that doesn't involve me.
@BoogTweets: Me: Take this
My Uber passenger: *holds gun in blood soaked car* WTF JUS HAPPENED?
Me: You tell me "Mr Finger prints on a murder weapon"