@LeslieInMpls: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot".
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@ericsshadow: My wife just texted "I'm too young to die" after they announced her United flight is overbooked.
@heytherejeffro: Pretty sure the "FINISH HIM" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date.
@UncleDuke1969: "I'm calling you because you're easy." "You're not even very good." "You're just the best I can do this late." Dominos: "Your order, Sir?"