@TheMichaelRock: I wonder if Morgan Freeman talks himself to sleep every night.
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@Tommytoughstuff: ME: This electric toothbrush knocked a few of my teeth loose. DENTIST: That's an egg beater.
@UnFitz: "Sorry" seems to be the hardest word? There's "Worcestershire," "anemone" & "otorhinolaryngologist." But whatever.
@just1fool: Always go into an interview high so they'll never be able to tell the difference in the future.
@FattMernandez: I'm posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they're making ceramic bowls.