@_Tempo11: I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park.
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@lawyerthoughts: Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around "the law". Judges don't like it.
@OBiiieeee: a girl took a grilled cheese out of her purse and threw it across the street like a frisbee to me i never thought i'd be able to love again
@tweetfaver: hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?
@pleatedjeans: Gangs should do drive-bys with t-shirt guns it'd be less violent & the shirt could say "you suck" so the target still gets the message