@_Tempo11: I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park.
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@DurtMcHurtt: My obsession with building townhouses is going to give me a complex one of these days.
@UncleDuke1969: Her: Are you a dog person or a cat person? Me: ... H: ... M: ... H: Why are you hesitating? M: I'm not sure which answer will get me laid.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Name one of your strengths" I didn't stab anyone today "That's not-" Yesterday wasn't so good tho
@TheCatWhisprer: We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately.