@RexHuppke: I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American.
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@KissabiX: [watches ants struggle with a chocolate & hazelnut covered golf ball I made] They'll be so pissed when they realise it's not Ferrero Roche
@SortaBad: Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*
@KevinBuffalo: Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I'm 73.
@hythemafia: "Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."