@BlondAmbitionTO: I wonder if serial killers watch Criminal Minds like chefs watch the Food Network: "Oh, bad move, I'd have done it this way..."
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@HousewifeOfHell: Two certain individuals today proclaimed me the worst mom ever because I took them to the dentist. I FORCED THEM TO HAVE TEETH. Like, OMG.
@dadamantium: 4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, "Come here, Turkeys!" I might be raising Elmer Fudd.
@CoolHegel: "This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: "What's your greatest accomplishment?" Me: "I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."