@BlondAmbitionTO: I wonder if serial killers watch Criminal Minds like chefs watch the Food Network: "Oh, bad move, I'd have done it this way..."
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@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
@gavinpivott: My step-dad's pretty cool. Not as cool as my fence-dad, though. Roof-dad is okay. What is a father?
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: The laundry pods are missing! Me: Oh really? H: Did you eat them again? M: Absolutely not *burps bubbles* why? H: JUST CALL IT A HUNCH!