@BlondAmbitionTO: I wonder if serial killers watch Criminal Minds like chefs watch the Food Network: "Oh, bad move, I'd have done it this way..."
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@AimeeHelene1: *Husband forgets to close screen on door* *4 hrs later* Me: *feels furriness on my leg in bed* *rolls over* Squirrel: *stares*
@QwertyJones3: A girl called me "sir" today and I was so angry I took off my suit of armor and stormed out of Medieval Times.
@InternetHippo: *clicks on video called How to Cut a Pineaple* This is what I need Video (32:56): The pineapple first appeared in South America over 500 ye