@BlondAmbitionTO: I wonder if serial killers watch Criminal Minds like chefs watch the Food Network: "Oh, bad move, I'd have done it this way..."
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@OVLH: "He's more scared of you than you are of him" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me
@Mirth_Quake: Because 'brunch' sounds better than 'I slept until 2pm, I have a hangover and I want pancakes.'
@Slims_Ramblings: Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager.