@robfee: I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
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@mewritesgood: You say "potato", I say "This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."
@xysist: Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
@clyderun: At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the "I have a PhD" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye.
@UncleDuke1969: [Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude.