@WilliamAder: I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
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@marknorm: When you're a kid and you have an accident you pee your pants. When you're an adult and you have an accident you have a kid.
@: Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store.
@jwoodham: Backseat drivers are the worst. They're always like "the light is red!" and "don't text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"