@DonQuickoats: I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go
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@iwearaonesie: *wife comes out in a robe* I'm hiding your present Yes it's wrapped Nooo, it's not in the fridge [5 minutes later] IT'S NOT IN THE FRIDGE!
@WilliamRodgers: 18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
@BarryVonAwesome: If you own a karate dojo and you don't make your employees answer the phone "Hiiiiiiiiya" You're doing it wrong