@WilliamAder: I wonder if those Gmail password hackers know how much my dog hates having to learn a new name.
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@rcromwell4: Youngest cried because Tooth Fairy was in the house while we were sleeping and I can't argue with her logic regarding intruders.
@paralysing_word: If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
@juliussharpe: If you just got invited to do something on New Year's Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
@SondraDeeMe: Perfect one night stand: Amish person. No internet access. No phones. In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple butter.