@WilliamAder: I wonder if those Gmail password hackers know how much my dog hates having to learn a new name.
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@lilnatebigworld: "Wow, that milk is spoiled!" *milk drives by in a fancy car his parents bought him*
@Not_a_JesusGirl: Playboy has started a new edition for married men with the same women featuring every month.
@hythemafia: When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......